Stop Interrupting
ME: Knock, knock
YOU: Who’s there?
ME: Interrupting Cow
YOU: Interrupt--
ME: MOO!
In common conversation, people have a certain tendency to interrupt each other. Sometimes, it’s a natural give & take of a spirited discussion. Sometimes, it’s cultural behavior, sometimes it’s geographic. Sometimes it’s simply people who listen to talk, rather than listening to hear.
But what happens when you’re in negotiations? Particularly tense negotiations?
The higher the stakes are raised, the more apt people are to interrupt. The more emotionally charged the situation is, the more likely the people involved will interrupt, sensing that they to set the record straight immediately. In doing so, they usually just ramp up the emotions in the room, steering a course away from resolution, rather than towards it.
in her article, Cinnie Noble points out several great quetstions, by way of the Conflict Mastery blog, that are worth pondering as emotions escalate:
Under what circumstances are you likely to interrupt the other person when you are in conflict with them?
When you interrupt, what impact on the other person do you notice?
How does interrupting by either of you help the conflict conversation? In what ways does it hinder it?
When people interrupt you when you are in conflict with them, what are you aware of that you may be doing or saying at those times (that seems to result in them interrupting you)?
What ways may you respond to the other person, when they interrupt you that may facilitate a more productive conversation?
What needs to happen for you to refrain from interrupting?
In a mediation, these questions can help to reframe the emotions in play and force the parties to take a step back, breathe deeply and refocus on resolution.
