Do You Take Offense?

What is offense?  How does it play into dispute resolution, particularly mediations?  Dr. Emily McTernan, an Associate Professor in Political Theory at University College London, theorizes that taking offense is not just about hurt feelings. 

In her lecture at Harvard University’s Edmond & Lilly Safra Center for Ethics,  McTernan explained that offense is more a matter of status.  Instead, the offended party experiences “someone ignoring or mistaking [their] standing or dismissing and attacking it.”  Going on, she notes that attacking or dismissing some aspect of a person that is valued by that person, it creates a threat to the way that person wants to represent him/herself.  That’s one reason why an apology that is based upon the claim that the effect was unintentional falls flat; it fails to acknowledge the perceived diminution in value. 

But yet, taking offense can also be a weapon as it can be used to attempt to assert social power.  A person can take offense based on their own inflated sense of value and demand that such be recognized by others.  Going up another rung on the ladder, as it were, by claiming (feigning?) offense.

So how does this all apply to mediation?  Most disputes involve emotion.  To what extent emotion is involved varies, but, generally someone is hurt, offended and seeking to be made whole.  If a neutral fails to get that issue out on the table and properly addressed, it makes achieving a resolution much more difficult.

 To read more about Professor McTernan’s lecture, click here.

Photo credit: Stephanie Mitchell/Harvard Staff Photographer